wandering and wondering...

...while making the brief journey home, on foot. as the feet wove its way along the familiar route, the mind took time out to play, and the heart, indulged.

liberated.

so, the wandering began with you. ignorance is bliss when it's in totality. partial ignorance is a torture! sometimes consequences are etched in stone regardless of the action taken. that's probably fate...that at that juncture in life, one is forced to take a certain route. what choice does the mind have? it's a futile process to try to change the inevitable. if what was expected was done, would things have been different?

some say that one can only know after one has tried. but what if the outcome remains the same? worse, what if the situation is aggravated? could one really sit back and assure one's self that one has done everything one could to take control of one's destiny? and leave the situation feeling at peace?

it is that, that which seems to elude us most of the time. that feeling of being at peace, at whatever consequences.

some say, that for one to achieve such a harmony of mind and heart, one should only undertake something that one has very well thought through as humanly possible. and leave the unexpected as what it is...the unexpected.

yet, if one were to subscribe to such philosophy all the time, then where has gone the spirit to sieze the day?

will you forgive me for trying?

it feels very much like searching in the dark with your eyes blindfolded. the amount of effort that one puts into ascertaining and determining what is what is draining. it is especially challenging when one doesn't know what one is searching for.

living life is like searching for the light switch in the dark. when one does not have the right education (academic and non-academic), it will be like searching for something in the dark blindfolded. with the right education, it will be 'in the dark, minus the blindfold'. that is the difference. but what's important is that one knows what it is that one is searching for.

throughout that search, one will come across many disappointments. but that is expected. for the reward of finding the right light swith is indescribable. the first and foremost is to know what it is that one is searching for. then, comes the courage to search for it, knowing the situation and the perils that lie ahead.

with every wrong light switch, it will illuminate one's way to the correct light switch.

seek and thou shalt find.
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do i already know you? can i guess which lightswitch you are? should i switch it on anyway? or should i presume and continue on; in hope that i will find the right lightswitch just next to you?
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but now...the feet will rest, the mind will work and the heart, will abstain.

i'm wondering about you, and wandering towards you.