these words were uttered sometime 51 years ago by a man, and echoed by a nation. they believed. they believed in something very promising, greater than their imaginations can take them. they could see the high in the bud. they had, a vision.
a vision that our leaders today are failing to illustrate. a vision that our leaders today, are failing to translate into our minds, body and soul. into our belief. martin luther king jr started his historic speech with the words, "i had a dream...". so did our forefathers. they had a dream. do we share in this dream? the point is, as a nation, we must. but the question is, do we? we seem to parade around a day every year, with catchy slogans and patriotic songs, as though we do.
with the current political and socioeconomic landscape, are we really merdeka? i could easily use the word "independence". somehow, the english-equivalent doesn't quite capture the meaning of merdeka.
but, what does it mean? do we know what that dream was? and is it still is?as always, in the run-up to the merdeka celebrations, various broadcast media will do a round of "what does merdeka mean to you?" (you here, being the man-on-the-street). no different this year. again, i have failed to pay much attention to the responses given as what really caught me, time and again, is the question.
really, what is that question actually asking? what is it that we celebrate every year when 31st of august comes? are we celebrating a historical event? is it simply then, a remembrance? are we celebrating the fact that we do not have someone else, who wasn't even born on this land; dictating our fate? i have lost sight of the purpose of these last few merdeka celebrations.
to me, merdeka is a state of being.
fine, our forefathers fought for it and won. we should never forget that. but now that we have it, what of it? does having it mean to us as much as it meant for them to fight so hard for it? to fight to the death even! are we going to be the generation that squanders it? as they say, to be chasing the leader is easier than to be leading the pack. does the same apply? was it easier to fight to be merdeka than to inherit it and remain, merdeka?
it took me to be away from this country to really appreciate what it is to be merdeka and what the words of the national anthem mean (at least to me). and every year after, i often find that i tell myself the same things. when the 31st of august comes around, merdeka day reminds me that i am born free. that, the little piece of land that i was born on, is mine. at least a monkey's breadth's worth. that ownership doesn't mean that the dirt is mine. it signifies that i have been born with the divine privilege to dictate my own. when it comes down to it, will i be willing - to pick arms and face my enemy face to face to defend what is mine? to defend, what was fought for me by my forefathers. someday, this monkey's breadth's worth of land will be stood on by others. by my descendants. do i not want them to be born free? free to be a slave only to their own dreams and desires and no others? is it fair for me turn around and say that i didn't ask for this? could i imagine the alternative? to have been born under the whim of others? am i capable, of defending it? will others join me and defend this together?
there exist a deep sense of loyalty within myself and amongst my contemporaries. that, i dare not believe otherwise. but it is increasingly appearing to be, pointless. futile. yet, we must strive, we must care. such indifference and non-chalance should not be accepted because to behave in that way would then really mean that we are ungrateful. just plain ungrateful.
there isn't an age nor time in the continuous thread of history that no society had not had its struggles. perhaps, the struggle of my age and time is that, to once again, rekindle that flame of desire and freedom. so that there may be, in the history of my merdeka, that the dreams of which i hold so dear, will be realised.
i may not be remembered as the first peoples to start that dream, nor might i be remembered as the person to realise it. i will however, be remembered as the generations of people who kept that dream alive. to be responsible for the character and heart of those people who will eventually realise that dream.
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the fasting month.
it is very telling that the celebration of a nation's struggles is followed by a time when each indivdual is compelled to reflect and face struggles of their own. how we endure and how resilient we will be in the face of these challenges, will all be up to us only.
funny. i've never really looked at it from this point of view but really, the fasting month is a challenge to us all. and not just to the muslims but also to the non-muslims. how they will have to be sensitive to the needs and demands of the muslims. and to us, how we must compromise and yet deliver the best we can under disadvantaged circumstances.
really, this act of fasting, is all of life's intricacies and idiosyncracies broken down to its very bare and basic, form.
being here, being alive; we will continuously ask the eternal question of why? why do we exist? the answer will forever elude us. yet, we continue to ask. in the meantime, for us who want to give this "living" a shot, we cannot deny that life has its
demands
challenges
rules
consequences
these exist in everything. from getting through the fasting month, to succeeding in careers and to building a nation. i do not know what to call this. but whatever it is, it has never been put in such a perspective. that the struggles of a nation is the struggles of the individual.
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merdeka! merdeka! merdeka!
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