a butterfly in...

...one's palm.

when trying to hold it, if you're not quick enough, it will fly away. if you succeed, you will stifle it. you don't have much of a choice. you have to leave your palm wide open. it may fly away. but if your palm is steady, it might just come back...and stay.

such a delicate, yet tensed circumstance.

the smile that its beauty carves...
the quiet sense of achievement...
the validation of life, spirit and wonderment...

all, in the simple gesture of; for a brief moment, having...
...a butterfly in your palm.

one must be prepared to be resigned to that stationary state. one's palm must be steady long enough for it to want to stay. and, all you want, is just that. for it, to stay. the intermingling of senses and emotions with which its presence creates, is enough.

but the butterly doesn't know that...it senses; movement, vibrations...discomfort and insecurity. and thus, it fleets away. one must be prepared for this, as well. whose palm it will land on next and stay? it shouldn't matter. the butterfly will land on an opened and steady palm.

perhaps, what one does not expect to be prepared for is, to close one's palm on a landing or even landed, butterfly. it's a delicate yet tensed circumstance.

...is that butterly landing?

there are moments...

...when everything seems to only be going 'left'. often, the cause is unknown. it's only a matter of whether action will be taken to change it's direction.

inaction, may be a viable alternative. especially if it is repressed or ignored long enough. something entirely unexpected or big enough may just come along and redirect one's focus. but it often proves temporary...

...and then, the restlessness returns.

if it'd only just stop. if you could only feel numb. it's funny how, creatures such as ourselves know exactly where to look for hope. and find it. just to keep us going for another day. ah, it doesn't sound like a winner.

once in awhile, when you're at that state of mind and being, you get the hint that things will be alright. once in awhile, you get the feeling that the hands that have always been there to receive the prayers that are sent for you; are the same hands that are there to catch you...are also the same hands that are outstretched to pull you out from the pits.

well, those hands won't let you...not feel. it will remind you that you're forever just, a mere human; with imperfections and is dependant on something greater.

a meeting with old friends, a reconnection with an old passion, a taste of that childlike abandonement...something.

...and before you know it, a great week goes by that makes you wonder, "what was i worried about?".

if you ever read this, thanks...it's been a great week.

be realistic, demand...

...the impossible.

demand from yourself and demand from others. until you do, you'll never be doing anything good enough. there is no excuse for not succeeding.

you should always be in competition. if there isn't any from others, then, be in competition with yourself. competing with yourself is that much harder. you'd know all your competitor's strengths and weaknesses.

how is that different from being kiasu?
frankly, i don't know. but strive for the highest standards you can have for yourself. that is when, even if material or tangible successes are not achieved, one has succeeded.

the good thing about it is, you're constantly bettering yourself. constantly, increasing your potential. so, when it comes to natural selection, you won't be selected. chances are, you'd escape from being selected for elimination.

it's easier to select those that are not performing rather then selecting those who perform because you'd never know how far their real potential is. for those who do not perform, you know that they have gone past their potential.

if you want to move vertically or diagonally, move when the limit of your potential is still undefinable. when you have moved, your potential becomes limitless once again. stay in that capacity until, or worry about non-promotion as soon as, your limitation appears as a dot in the horizon. don't wait until you see the line or worse, when you have gone past it.

as long as you stay within that boundary, you've got solid ground to manouever on. it's sipple out deh (slippery out there).

but that's not enough...

through it all, you must possess a set of values/measurements that marks your growth as a person and not just as a corporate participant. you must stamp your mark as a corporate player and ultimately, as a human being.

there are times when these two values come into conflict, that; the advancement in one may mean a regression in the other. it's difficult to place a rule on which to decide on. it all depends on the prevailing situation and the longer-term consequence(s).
in this instance, nothing can teach one better than the pages of life. one has to have gone through similar or worse situations in order to have something to refer to. the experience of others are invaluable, if, and only if one is capable to appreciate that particular experience as one's own. for otherwise, it will remain only as an anology worth noting.

what most would be interested in (either knowingly or unknowingly), would be, what is to be done during the time in between?
well, that would be to gather the experience with an open mind and a sincere heart. make friends, learn from others...ask questions, explore and let the mind wander and wonder.

there will always be challenges. even the best of us can, at times, take the wrong step. it's comforting to know that in this sense, humans are equal. i am, no less than who or what you are. and vice versa.

so, be realistic. demand the impossible from yourself. learn your strengths, your weaknesses. keep an eye out for opportunities and threats.

we owe it to ourselves.