winner takes all...

...and i do not want to leave empty handed.

oddly today, i feel very out of sorts. no, i'm not actually tired. but i feel different. my dilemma is about to come to a head. i must be prepared come what may. but i must resolve within me to stand firm. i know i'm good at this. i know i'm making a difference. i don't believe i'm being naive.

please, remove these shackles that bound me to obscurity.

this is, make or break. i have no heart to tell my friends. instead, i only try to spend as much time as i can with them. make as much memories with them, just in case i don't survive the bloodbath that's inevitable. that's what it'll be, a bloodbath.

i won't step out of the ring until i'm down....and out.
you can only be either one...the winner, or the loser.

this is my fight. only i can fight this. i will fight this, my way.

i have thought about pursuing a certain interest in someone, and the conclusion tells me that no one else deserves to share this personal burden i'm carrying. you know, as people always say, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. i'm starting to believe that i don't want this "to be". hehe, but i probably want other things..."to be" (if you know what i'm saying).

my eyes roam, so my heart wanders....

it is no longer mine, and only mine. i have a responsibility to take this fight all the way. to the very end, and i must come out victorious. the integrity of the people under my command is at stake. whilst they haven't done everything right, they still don't deserve the fate that awaits them if i don't step up. worse still, the fate that awaits them, if i lose.

let this be my testimony...let this be my witness. soon, the day will come when i shall begin the journey of a lifetime.

"if nothing changes, nothing changes" - jim westley