the new world...

...promises a multitude of possibilities.

and that's where i'm headed.

a place where there's sympathy for the privileged. and a harsh word for the forsaken. a place where regrets can be forgiven and second chances are in abundance.

a place where seizing the day is admired and chivalry is not dead. where impeccable mannerisms are a virtue and innocence is a choice.

a place where softly spoken words resound so greatly when it carries a tune of truth.

a place, where real love is felt in whatever way, shape or form it's shown.

idealistic? naive? yes, yes...undeniably.

but that is the part of youth that i still hang on to so dearly.

it's been 15 days into the new year. nothing has changed. except, maybe, a view of the future. right now, for this year, i want to achieve, both my private and public victories. will it change tomorrow? i hope not.

there are things and ends that i cannot consciously seek. they are things or ends, that come as a consequence of a series of interconnected events. it is time that i trigger that series of related events. that, i can do consciously.

and through it all, i intend to maintain my four-walled fortress.
credibility,
integrity,
sincerity
and love.

may god help me.
no more playing a role. no more, geminian conflict. no more, confusion in the comfort of loneliness.

if i have to stand alone against an amy of dissenters, well, so be it. one thing i am certain of myself is that i fight. i will fight, fall, and still get up and fight. but all i've done is fight. for what? now, i cannot say for certain.

somehow, i'm tired of fighting. but there are not that many sides of me which i can rely on. fighting is perhaps the only thing i know how to do. i seem want to defy everything. even if it means hurting myself. hahahaha...a fine mess.

and i want people to fight with me, for me. are my ideals too selfish? do my ideals require such a great sacrifice? can i choose to change my ideals? can i be something other than me?
or do i defend it? to the death even! are they worth dying for? more importantly, are they worth living for?

my Utopia.

...if i may, a moment of self-reflection.
this whole thread doesn't seem to make much sense. self doubt or lack of confidence or low self-esteem? hahahahaha

i shall sail this damaged ship into the new world. i shall navigate it through the rough seas and unfamiliar ports. i shall overcome the threats of pirates.

oh burn, and burn,
ye blaze of glory!
lead the way in the unforgiving night.

oh bright, and bright,
ye blaze of glory!
reflect thy bloody sword through a ferocious fight.

oh scream, and screech,
ye blaze of glory!
cry the demise of a comfortable life.